THE AGE TEST
1. Name the Beatles.
_________________
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2. Finish the line: "Lions and Tigers and Bears, ______ _____!"
3. "Hey kids, what time is it?" _____ ______ _____ _____.
4. What do M&M's do? ___ ___ ___ ___, ____ ____ ____ ____
5. What helps build strong bodies 12 ways?______ _______.
6. Long before he was Mohammed Ali, we knew him as ______ _____.
7. You'll wonder where the yellow went, ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ ___.
8. Post-baby boomers know Bob Denver as the Skipper's "little buddy."
But we know that Bob Denver is actually Dobie's closest friend,
______G._______.
9. M-I-C: See ya' real soon; K-E-Y: _____? ____ _____ _____ _____!
10. "Brylcream: ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ _____."
11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone _____ _____.
12. From the early days of our music, real rock 'n roll, finish this line:
"I wonder, wonder, wonder...wonder who; ____ ______ _____ _____ _____ _____?"
13. And while we're remembering rock n' roll, try this one:
"War...uh-huh,huh...yea; what is it good for? , ____ _____."
14. Meanwhile, back home in Metropolis, Superman fights a never-ending
battle for truth, justice, and _____ ____ _____.
15. He came out of the University of Alabama, and became one of the best
quarterbacks in the history of the NFL. He later went on to appear in a
television commercial wearing women's stockings. He is Broadway _____
______.
16. "I'm Popeye the sailor man; I'm Popeye the sailor man. I'm strong to
the finish, ____ ____ ____ ___ ____. I'm Popeye the sailor man."
17. Your children probably recall that Peter Pan was recently played by
Robin Williams, but we will always remember when Peter was played by
______ ______.
18. In a movie from the late sixties, Paul Newman played Luke, a ne'er
do well who was sent to a prison camp for cutting off the heads of
parking meters with a pipe cutter. When he was captured after an
unsuccessful attempt to escape, the camp commander (played by Strother
Martin) used this experience as a lesson for the other prisoners, and
explained, "What we have here, ____ ____ ____ ____ ___."
19. In 1962, a dejected politician chastised the press after losing a
race for governor while announcing his retirement from politics."Just
think, you won't have ____ ____ to kick around anymore."
20. "Every morning, at the mine, you could see him arrive; He stood six
foot, six, weighed 245. Kinda' broad at the shoulder, and narrow at the
hip. And everybody knew you didn't give no lip, _____ _____,_____ _____
_____."
21. "I found my thrill, _____ _____ _____."
22. ________ ________ said, "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, _____ _____
_____."
23. "Good night, David." "_____ ______,______."
24. "Liar, liar, ____ ____ _____."
25. "When it's least expected, you're elected. You're the star today.
_______! _____ ______ ______ ______."
26. It was Pogo, the comic strip character, who said, "We have met the
enemy, and ____ ___ ____."
ANSWERS:
1. John, Paul, George, Ringo
2. Oh, my
3. It's Howdy Doody Time!
4. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
5. Wonder Bread
6. Cassius Clay
7. when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
8. Maynard G. Krebbs
9. Why? Because we like you.
10. A little dab'll do ya.
11. over 30
12. who wrote the book of love
13. Absolutely nothin'
14. the American way
15. Joe Namath
16. "cause I eats me spinach"
17. Mary Martin
18. is a failure to communicate
19. Richard Nixon
20. Big John, Big Bad John
21. On Blueberry Hill
22. Jimmy Durante - Wherever you are.
23. Good night, Chet.
24. pants on fire
25. Smile you're on Candid Camera
26. he is us
> SCORING:
> 24-26 correct - 50+ years old
> 20-23 correct - 40's
> 15-19 correct - 30's
> 10-14 correct - 20's
> 1- 9 correct - You're, like, sorta a teenage dude?
> 0 correct - SENILE
Administratium A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Administratium".
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These
312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4
days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but
instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists
to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as "Critical Morass
Native American Spoken Word Artist
Luke Warm Water
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